1 00:00:02,035 --> 00:00:05,163 - Previously. - Stop the wedding! 2 00:00:05,271 --> 00:00:08,069 This marriage is a complete fraud, just like the groom. 3 00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:10,199 You don't seem to grasp the gravity of the situation. 4 00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:13,871 If I'm not married to an American citizen, I'm going to be thrown out of the country! 5 00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:15,675 How are we gonna keep this up for two years? 6 00:00:15,782 --> 00:00:18,649 By being the happiest married couple in America. 7 00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:21,243 I recommend you have this honeymoon right away, Mr. Steele. 8 00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:25,088 At least we can say we were up all night on our honeymoon. 9 00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:27,887 Why do we always draw the line at the bedroom door? 10 00:00:27,994 --> 00:00:31,521 Maybe this honeymoon will turn out to be a blessing in disguise after all. 11 00:00:33,299 --> 00:00:35,927 - So what do you do? - I'm an archaeologist. 12 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,936 I'm about to set up a dig here. 13 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:42,600 - Roselli. Anthony Roselli. My friends call me Tony. - Yes, I'm sure they do. 14 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:48,306 As soon as I prove Steele's marriage is a fraud... 15 00:00:48,415 --> 00:00:50,383 I'll be back in solid with my bosses. 16 00:00:50,483 --> 00:00:53,543 - Heading back to the monuments? - As soon as your plane takes off. 17 00:00:53,653 --> 00:00:55,450 - Good-bye. - Adios. 18 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:59,389 Here's to finishing in Los Angeles what we started in Mexico. 19 00:00:59,492 --> 00:01:01,960 When's your next flight to Los Angeles? 20 00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:47,532 Oh! 21 00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:53,227 Ain't polite to run off in the middle of a conversation, love. 22 00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:55,239 He wants his money. 23 00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:57,536 - I told you. He'll get it. - When? 24 00:02:57,644 --> 00:03:00,112 A week. Two at the most. 25 00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:02,613 And who's gonna give you all that green, eh? 26 00:03:02,715 --> 00:03:05,047 My husband. 27 00:03:05,151 --> 00:03:07,449 One of us got a bum memory, love. 28 00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:09,454 You ain't married. 29 00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:13,822 That's merely a formality, you greasy little ape. 30 00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:16,088 Now, you run back to your master... 31 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:19,632 and you tell him he'll get every penny I owe him... 32 00:03:19,732 --> 00:03:22,132 just as soon as I become Mrs. Remington Steele. 33 00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:44,552 Ah! Home, sweet home! 34 00:03:44,657 --> 00:03:46,818 Even the smog smells good. 35 00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:49,759 The white zone is for loading and unloading only. 36 00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:53,354 - You two have a nice honeymoon? - Truly an unforgettable experience, Fred. 37 00:03:53,466 --> 00:03:56,958 What Mr. Steele means is that the honeymoon's just beginning. 38 00:03:57,070 --> 00:04:00,369 Uh, this came for you special delivery this morning. 39 00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:02,373 Thank you. 40 00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:08,513 Immigration? 41 00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:12,949 "Dear Mr. Steele, due to the circumstances surrounding the demise of Norman Keyes... 42 00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:17,421 "we shall be forced to continue our investigation of the Steele-Holt marriage. 43 00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:20,424 Forms enclosed. " Etc, etc, etc. 44 00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:25,520 - "Yours sincerely, Gladys Lynch?" - Gladys Lynch? 45 00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:27,657 What happened to Estelle Becker? 46 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,997 It seems she's been supplanted. 47 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,799 When are these bureaucrats gonna leave us alone? 48 00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:36,306 Miss Lynch wants proof? Fine. We'll give her proof. 49 00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:42,177 - Fred. The office. - The office? 50 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,773 The office. 51 00:04:47,387 --> 00:04:49,719 First we're going to take care of the paperwork. 52 00:04:49,822 --> 00:04:53,155 Then we're going to invite Gladys Lynch to a very special dinner. 53 00:04:53,259 --> 00:04:56,922 - Arsenic and Old Lace? - Come again, chief? 54 00:04:57,030 --> 00:05:01,057 Cary Grant, Josephine Hull. Warner Bros., 1944. 55 00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:05,570 Two little old ladies invite lonely gentlemen to sip elderberry wine and poison them. 56 00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:09,403 A little extreme. Seeing is believing, right? 57 00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:12,945 Step one, Mildred develops the pictures- proof of a honeymoon. 58 00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,674 Step two, I move my clothes in- proof of cohabitation. 59 00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:19,513 - Mm-hmm. - Step three, you cook up one of your fabulous gourmet feasts. 60 00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:22,144 Undisputable proof of wedded domesticity. 61 00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:25,190 Hold the huzzahs. We have a problem. 62 00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:27,191 You lovebirds only took one picture, remember? 63 00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:29,992 Make 10 copies. 64 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:37,633 By the time dessert is served, we should have Miss Lynch eating out of the palm of our hand. 65 00:05:37,737 --> 00:05:39,967 Mm-hmm. And after dessert? 66 00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,098 I'm open for suggestions. 67 00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:45,405 The office, Fred. And don't spare the rubber. 68 00:05:55,755 --> 00:05:59,714 - Who are all those people? - I figured you two would be raring to go once you got back. 69 00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:02,693 Steele? Listen, nice to meet you. 70 00:06:02,795 --> 00:06:05,958 I gotta talk to you! 71 00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:09,867 I have a 9:00! 72 00:06:09,969 --> 00:06:13,632 - Excuse me! - Wait your turn, huh, lady? 73 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,233 Let go of my hand. 74 00:06:17,343 --> 00:06:19,277 - All right. Listen! - Hold it. Hold it. 75 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,913 That's better. 76 00:06:24,016 --> 00:06:25,711 - Where's 9:00? - That's me. 77 00:06:25,818 --> 00:06:28,184 - 9:15. - 9:30. 78 00:06:28,287 --> 00:06:30,380 - 9:45. - 11:30. 79 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:32,082 - You're early. - I'm desperate. 80 00:06:32,191 --> 00:06:33,988 Sit down. 81 00:06:34,093 --> 00:06:38,427 Given our sizable backlog, Laura, I suggest we divide and conquer. 82 00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:42,467 - Don't we do better as a team? - This mob is rabid, Laura. 9:00? 83 00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:44,468 Uh, 9:15? 84 00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:47,630 All right, madam. This way. Park it right in there. There you go, sweetheart. 85 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,640 - Oh. - In there, sir. Thank you. 86 00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:54,645 - Wait a minute. - In and out, honey. Just run 'em through. It's okay. 87 00:06:59,285 --> 00:07:02,652 - I'm sorry for the mix-up, Mrs. - - McCormick. 88 00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:07,317 But Mr. Steele- My husband and I just got back from our honeymoon. 89 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:10,863 Oh, don't apologize, sweetie. Believe me. I know how it is. 90 00:07:10,963 --> 00:07:13,761 I was the secretary who married the boss too. 91 00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:16,962 I was never a secretary. 92 00:07:17,069 --> 00:07:20,163 Don't be embarrassed. It happens all the time. 93 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:23,834 You're the shoulder he cries on, the one who caters to his every whim. 94 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:26,571 So why shouldn't he dump the old crow at home and marry you? 95 00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:29,648 Mr. Steele and I are different. 96 00:07:29,749 --> 00:07:32,240 Ah, that's what I said about Hubert. 97 00:07:32,351 --> 00:07:35,013 Only, now the louse is cheating on me.! 98 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,419 With his new secretary! 99 00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:40,014 I'm very sorry to hear that. 100 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,287 I don't want pity. 101 00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:44,761 I want proof. I want pictures. 102 00:07:44,864 --> 00:07:49,460 That no-good dirtbag's gonna think twice before he takes another dip in the steno pool. 103 00:07:49,569 --> 00:07:54,199 I understand how upsetting all this must be, Mrs. McCormick... 104 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:57,140 but, unfortunately, the Remington Steele Agency... 105 00:07:57,243 --> 00:08:01,304 isn't equipped to handle matters of such a delicate nature. 106 00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:03,939 Perhaps you should consult the yellow pages. 107 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:11,419 Take a little advice. Keep up the shorthand. 108 00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:23,391 Oh. 109 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,404 - So, this is the little woman. - Yeah. 110 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,667 That is quite some catch. You sly dog! 111 00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:33,409 Laura Holt- Steele. 112 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,606 Holt-Steele. Laura Holt Steele. 113 00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:38,616 Very good, Laura. You're gettin' the hang of it. 114 00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:41,186 I bet she does a lot more than just type and file. 115 00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:43,346 Oh, my wife's a woman of many talents. Yes. 116 00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:47,256 Perhaps you'd like to fill me in on the case, Mr. Steele. 117 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,454 Mr. Steele? That's a bit formal, isn't it, cutie? 118 00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:55,762 Company policy. It's Mr. Steele around the office. No exceptions for the little wo- trouper. 119 00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:58,428 You run a tight ship. I like that, Steele! 120 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,699 May we please get down to business? 121 00:09:00,806 --> 00:09:03,206 Of course. Listen. 122 00:09:03,309 --> 00:09:05,368 - I own a yacht brokerage down at the marina. - Mm-hmm. 123 00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:08,447 Lately, some of our ships have been disappearing right out of their slips. 124 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,711 Now, we're- Could you top this off for me, cutie? 125 00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:14,285 Thank you. How are you fixed, big guy? 126 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,151 Yes. I could do with a spot more tea. There you go. 127 00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:22,156 Want some advice from an old salt? 128 00:09:22,261 --> 00:09:26,095 Don't bring the little woman around the office. Cramps your style, if you know what I mean. 129 00:09:26,198 --> 00:09:28,598 Huh? Huh? 130 00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:30,635 Might I see you for a moment, big guy? 131 00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:34,695 We have a client here, Miss Holt, uh, Steele, uh, Holt-Steele. Hmm. 132 00:09:34,807 --> 00:09:37,640 Take your time, you sly dog. 133 00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:50,012 Will you stop encouraging that boor? 134 00:09:50,122 --> 00:09:53,649 - I'm merely maintaining our cover, Laura. - Then stop enjoying it so much! 135 00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:57,695 I was used to unidentified woman. I could even swallow unnamed associate. 136 00:09:57,797 --> 00:10:00,891 I am not used to having people assume I slept my way into my job. 137 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:05,198 I realize how humiliating this is for you, Laura. But it's the end result that counts. 138 00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:08,467 By tonight, we'll be rid of Gladys Lynch and the whole bunch of them at Immigration. 139 00:10:08,574 --> 00:10:11,543 Then it'll just be the two of us, hmm? 140 00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:15,045 Alone... in my apartment? 141 00:10:15,147 --> 00:10:17,775 - Where you can practice sleeping your way to the top. 142 00:10:17,883 --> 00:10:20,579 I mean, who knows what a night of lovemaking could bring? 143 00:10:20,686 --> 00:10:24,747 Your own parking space? Unlimited expense account? 144 00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:27,417 A key to the executive washroom? 145 00:10:29,428 --> 00:10:32,454 Throw in a desk chair, and you've got yourself a deal. 146 00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:37,200 Hey, little lady- 147 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:40,329 Make that decaf, will you? Ah, you son of a gun. 148 00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:47,044 Next! 149 00:10:53,953 --> 00:10:56,353 Department of Immigration and Naturalization. 150 00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:04,856 - Gladys Lynch? - That's right. 151 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,066 Anthony Roselli. 152 00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:14,731 I just took over the Remington Steele case from Estelle Becker. Why am I reporting to you? 153 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,331 - Ask Washington. - I did. 154 00:11:17,443 --> 00:11:20,207 - And? - Some gobbeldygook about a fresh perspective. 155 00:11:20,312 --> 00:11:22,337 That the file I asked for? 156 00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:24,416 What qualifies you for this assignment? 157 00:11:25,751 --> 00:11:28,584 I got friendly with Steele and Laura Holt in Mexico. 158 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:32,215 They think I'm an archaeologist. That way, they won't be suspicious. 159 00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:34,451 Who are you? 160 00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:39,456 Until Washington says different... 161 00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:40,930 I'm your boss. 162 00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:43,433 I did some checking on you, Mr. Roselli. 163 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,766 Are you always so interested in your coworkers? 164 00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:49,967 I am when they pop out of nowhere. And that's exactly where you came from. 165 00:11:50,076 --> 00:11:52,101 There's no record of you being with Immigration. 166 00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:55,009 I've been in Latin America for the past few years. 167 00:11:55,114 --> 00:11:57,014 My records probably haven't caught up with me. 168 00:11:57,116 --> 00:12:01,212 Why not? Haven't you heard of computers? Instant access? 169 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:04,380 Gladys- 170 00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:07,357 I'm not gonna hog the spotlight, if that's what you're worried about. 171 00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:10,156 All I wanna do is prove that Steele's marriage is phony. 172 00:12:10,262 --> 00:12:12,196 Help me, and you can take all the bows. 173 00:12:13,866 --> 00:12:17,029 There's something going on here that I don't understand. 174 00:12:17,136 --> 00:12:19,104 But that doesn't mean I won't before it's over. 175 00:12:19,205 --> 00:12:21,366 Gladys- 176 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:25,433 Fight me on this, and you'll be stamping passports in Palmdale. 177 00:12:28,647 --> 00:12:30,672 Have a nice day. 178 00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:51,493 - Mmm. - Mmm! 179 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:55,165 - Shannon! - I was in the neighborhood, and I thought I'd pop 'round. 180 00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:58,300 Oh. Last time I saw you was in Hong Kong. 181 00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:00,708 And that was five years ago. 182 00:13:00,813 --> 00:13:03,213 Aren't you glad to see me? 183 00:13:03,315 --> 00:13:07,615 Oh, beside myself with joy. Uh, unfortunately, I'm expecting guests. 184 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:12,487 I've missed you so much, Douglas. 185 00:13:12,591 --> 00:13:14,957 - Mmm. - Mmm. 186 00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,727 - The bedroom. - Oh, I love it when you take charge. 187 00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:21,800 You can't be found here. Not tonight. 188 00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:25,735 Oh, if I am as quiet as a mouse, um, do I get a reward? 189 00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:28,534 - A big reward? - Oh, yeah. 190 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,541 Coming! 191 00:13:32,178 --> 00:13:34,942 Oh. Ahh. 192 00:13:35,047 --> 00:13:38,107 Oh, God. Coming, coming, coming. 193 00:13:43,455 --> 00:13:46,390 Ooh. 194 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:49,825 - Hmm. Hi. - What took you so long? 195 00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:53,456 The... duck. Had to put the duck in the oven. 196 00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:56,433 Isn't it a little late to be starting dinner? 197 00:13:56,535 --> 00:13:58,730 Instant duck. Comes in a pouch. 198 00:14:00,372 --> 00:14:02,306 I'll put these away. 199 00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:05,400 Ah, no, no, no, no. I'll take care of those. 200 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:08,776 Why don't you-You just open the champagne. That's a good idea. 201 00:14:08,881 --> 00:14:10,781 Are you sure you can handle it? 202 00:14:10,883 --> 00:14:13,909 It's okay. I can do it. It's fine. 203 00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:16,988 Heh. Child's play. It's okay. 204 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:26,221 It's okay. Don't worry. 205 00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:35,430 Don't you want to know where I've been? How I've been? 206 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,441 How I got there? 207 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,807 - No! - Need some help? 208 00:14:39,912 --> 00:14:41,937 No! No. 209 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:45,244 Oh, it started in Paris, I remember. It was raining. 210 00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:47,319 It always rains in Paris in the spring. 211 00:14:47,419 --> 00:14:49,683 Save that thought. 212 00:14:51,857 --> 00:14:54,223 There, you see? All tidied. 213 00:14:54,326 --> 00:14:56,692 How did you fit everything in there? 214 00:14:56,795 --> 00:15:00,629 - Oh, let's not talk about shelf space at a time like this. - Ooh! Ooh! 215 00:15:02,701 --> 00:15:05,101 - What's gotten into you? - Hmm? Mmm! 216 00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:15,176 You haven't forgotten Mexico, have you? Let the chips fall where they may? 217 00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:17,181 Up periscope, hmm? 218 00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,647 Mmm. 219 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:24,416 - What about Gladys Lynch? - Well, she said she wanted proof. Hmm? 220 00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:31,619 I don't think this is the proof she had in mind. 221 00:15:37,202 --> 00:15:39,636 Let's live dangerously, eh? 222 00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:44,404 - Why not? - Oh. 223 00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:54,483 - Company, ah. - Wait. 224 00:15:57,089 --> 00:15:59,683 - What happened to your periscope? - It's retractable. 225 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,420 - Wait, wait. - Huh? Okay. 226 00:16:03,495 --> 00:16:05,554 - All right? - Fine. Smile. 227 00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:11,235 Gladys Lynch. 228 00:16:11,337 --> 00:16:13,271 Pleasure to meet you, Miss Lynch. 229 00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:17,103 I'm Remington Steele, and this is my wife, Laura Holt- Steele. Holt-Steele. 230 00:16:17,209 --> 00:16:19,643 - Laura Holt Steele. - Please. Please, come in. 231 00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:22,270 Yes. Please do. Come on in. There we go. 232 00:16:22,381 --> 00:16:25,976 Um, may I take your wrap, Miss Lynch? 233 00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:31,182 Whatever happened to Estelle Becker? She was such a booster of our marriage. 234 00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:34,726 That's exactly what happened to Estelle Becker. 235 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:38,558 - Is there some sort of problem that we don't know about? - Problem? 236 00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:42,691 Just because a man named Norman Keyes died trying to prove your marriage was a fraud? 237 00:16:42,801 --> 00:16:44,701 Can't imagine why that would raise any eyebrows. 238 00:16:44,803 --> 00:16:48,239 Miss Lynch, we understand that the immigration department... 239 00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:51,207 has to scrutinize all marriages between U.S. Citizens... 240 00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:53,608 and- and... aliens. 241 00:16:53,712 --> 00:16:57,671 And we want you to know that we're willing to cooperate in every way we possibly can... 242 00:16:57,783 --> 00:17:00,047 - to clear up the slightest doubt. - Mm-hmm. 243 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:04,950 Would you like a tour of our happy home? 244 00:17:05,057 --> 00:17:07,423 Uh, uh, why don't you start in the kitchen? 245 00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:11,087 - The kitchen? - Uh, show Miss Lynch your pots and pans, darling. 246 00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:13,892 She's so proud of her pots and pans. 247 00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:16,126 Run along. That's right. Run along. 248 00:17:23,509 --> 00:17:25,670 - Where was I? - In Paris, being rained on. 249 00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:27,678 - Oops. - That's where I met him. 250 00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:31,682 - I was foolish to think I could forget you. What was I to do? - Duck. 251 00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:34,412 - What about the duck? - It's almost ready. 252 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,956 Take a peek at this. 253 00:17:45,431 --> 00:17:48,730 In fact, I think it's burning. 254 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:53,394 Men. Never let them unpack. 255 00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:09,712 Come in. Shannon, I think it's time you knew. 256 00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:11,847 I've just returned from my honeymoon. 257 00:18:11,957 --> 00:18:15,017 - Perfect. The wife's always the last to know. - What? 258 00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:18,460 As much as I admire your respect for tradition, I'm afraid it's adieu. 259 00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:22,625 Douglas, I've flown 6,000 miles to- to throw myself at your feet. 260 00:18:22,734 --> 00:18:26,033 And I appreciate the gesture. There's no one prettier prostrate than you. 261 00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:28,299 But I'm afraid all we're left with are our memories. 262 00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:30,568 If that's the way you feel, then it really is adieu. 263 00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:34,407 That's what I've always liked about you. You've always been a sport. 264 00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:37,105 - Oh. Mildred. - I'm not late, am I? 265 00:18:37,216 --> 00:18:39,480 - Actually, uh, you're early. - But- 266 00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:42,179 The kitchen. Quick. Quick! Straight through here. 267 00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:45,154 - That's it, my girl. That's it. Oh, yes. - Oh! 268 00:18:45,257 --> 00:18:48,317 Just hide over here. Hunker down. Hunker down. 269 00:18:48,427 --> 00:18:51,157 As soon as the coast is clear, make a beeline for the door, okay? 270 00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:54,960 - If you're sure it'll make you happy. - Ecstatic. 271 00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:58,366 Okay. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. 272 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:06,411 Ah, Mildred, now you're on time. Ah, splendid, the pictures. 273 00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:10,278 Let's not keep Miss Lynch waiting. Come on. Step lively. 274 00:19:10,382 --> 00:19:12,373 Come on. This way. Let's go into the bedroom! 275 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:19,822 - Okay. - There... we... go. 276 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:24,693 Oh, don't worry about the pole. We'll get a new one. 277 00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:28,197 Anything for my bride. A pole. Anything. 278 00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:31,963 - Thank you, dear. - Anyone want to see the honeymoon pictures? 279 00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:34,004 - Good idea. - Oh. 280 00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:38,475 Great. Uh, ladies, I think the light's a lot better in here, don't you? 281 00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:42,035 Of course, we took so many, we wouldn't want to bore you with all of them. 282 00:19:49,721 --> 00:19:51,621 Shannon. 283 00:19:56,929 --> 00:20:00,990 I think this happy gathering calls for some champagne, eh? 284 00:20:01,099 --> 00:20:04,000 What was that? 285 00:20:04,102 --> 00:20:07,128 The neighbors. Walls are paper thin. 286 00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:12,042 Oh! 287 00:20:14,613 --> 00:20:16,513 Clumsy me. 288 00:20:16,615 --> 00:20:18,947 Where did she come from? 289 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,315 - Paris. - The bathroom. 290 00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:23,320 She came from a bathroom in Paris? 291 00:20:23,422 --> 00:20:26,255 She just flew in from Paris, and she was, uh, freshening up in the bathroom. 292 00:20:26,358 --> 00:20:30,055 I see. Now I got a biggie for you. 293 00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:31,993 - Uh-huh. - Who is she? 294 00:20:32,097 --> 00:20:34,565 - Mr. Steele's sister. - Ah. 295 00:20:34,666 --> 00:20:39,831 Could I trouble you for a glass of brandy? Travel can be so unsettling. 296 00:20:39,938 --> 00:20:43,533 Oh, now, now, Sister Steele. 297 00:20:43,642 --> 00:20:46,236 I'm sure rest is the very best thing for you. 298 00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:48,313 She will join us as soon as she's up to it. 299 00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:50,313 - Yes. - Yes, indeed. 300 00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:53,441 Yes, yes, yes. Oh! 301 00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:57,688 Oh, quick thinking, Laura. 302 00:20:57,789 --> 00:21:00,622 - Thank you. Who is she? - Mmm? 303 00:21:00,726 --> 00:21:03,286 Oh, I'm sorry. Forgive my manners. 304 00:21:03,395 --> 00:21:07,991 Ah, Shannon Wayne, may I introduce my wife, Laura Holt? 305 00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,034 Steele. Holt-Steele. 306 00:21:10,135 --> 00:21:12,126 Laura Holt Steele. 307 00:21:12,237 --> 00:21:14,432 Charmed, I'm sure. 308 00:21:16,541 --> 00:21:19,942 Shannon and I are, uh, old, old, old friends. 309 00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:22,775 - They can be such a comfort. - Yes. 310 00:21:26,785 --> 00:21:29,982 You, uh, you seem to be taking this in stride. 311 00:21:30,088 --> 00:21:34,718 It's very simple. We blow this marriage charade, and it's all over. 312 00:21:34,826 --> 00:21:36,726 They fine me within an inch of my life. 313 00:21:36,828 --> 00:21:40,855 The agency goes in the Dumpster, my hard work, my dreams up in smoke. 314 00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:44,697 So as long as immigration thinks we're the happiest married couple in America... 315 00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:47,328 I don't care what you do, you miserable swine. 316 00:21:47,439 --> 00:21:53,207 So, smile, lamb chop. 317 00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:55,803 These pictures are all the same. 318 00:21:55,914 --> 00:21:58,906 We liked it so much, we wanted to give it to all of our friends. 319 00:21:59,017 --> 00:22:01,542 Yeah. Why don't you... take one for your scrapbook. 320 00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:04,918 - I'd like to see the rest. - Well, if you've seen one, you've seen them all. 321 00:22:09,261 --> 00:22:11,661 Tony! 322 00:22:20,472 --> 00:22:23,202 Gladys, I'd like you to meet my brother. 323 00:22:25,143 --> 00:22:27,111 How ya doin'? 324 00:22:28,747 --> 00:22:33,241 - As you can see, we're just one, big, happy family. - And real close. 325 00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:36,185 - We'd better be running along. - Where are you going? 326 00:22:36,288 --> 00:22:37,846 - The airport. - The airport? 327 00:22:37,956 --> 00:22:40,789 Well, didn't I tell you, dear? Mother's flying in for the weekend. 328 00:22:40,892 --> 00:22:43,656 But don't hold dinner. She could be circling up there for hours. 329 00:22:43,762 --> 00:22:45,662 Come along. 330 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:51,735 Sounds like your goose is cooked. 331 00:22:51,837 --> 00:22:54,101 Thank you, Mildred. Thank you so much. 332 00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:57,232 Ah. Well, ladies, why don't we sit down then, eh? 333 00:22:57,342 --> 00:22:59,572 - I think I'll be running along. - Oh, so soon? 334 00:22:59,678 --> 00:23:02,476 I need time to absorb the evening. 335 00:23:09,955 --> 00:23:12,048 Oh. 336 00:23:13,725 --> 00:23:15,920 I suppose you heard that. 337 00:23:22,601 --> 00:23:25,195 - What-What are you doing? - I was trying to get your attention. 338 00:23:25,303 --> 00:23:27,931 - Oh, it's lonely in here, Dougie. - What do you mean? 339 00:23:28,039 --> 00:23:31,531 Here. Looks like Sis is well enough to travel. 340 00:23:31,643 --> 00:23:35,079 - What about my coat? - We'll send it to you parcel post. 341 00:23:35,180 --> 00:23:38,149 Careful! Hey! 342 00:23:50,028 --> 00:23:52,258 This better be good. 343 00:23:54,032 --> 00:23:56,000 It all started in Paris. 344 00:24:00,305 --> 00:24:05,106 Okay. You've steamed, you've stewed, and you've digested. 345 00:24:05,210 --> 00:24:07,371 You've done everything but talk. 346 00:24:12,083 --> 00:24:14,483 Domestic tiff. 347 00:24:14,586 --> 00:24:17,020 Dangerous game, trying to make your husband jealous. 348 00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:24,694 - I know I shouldn't have kissed you that way. I'm sorry. - I'm not. 349 00:24:27,666 --> 00:24:32,103 The last time I saw you, we were saying good-bye to each other in a Mexican airport. 350 00:24:32,204 --> 00:24:35,002 I have a standing offer from UCLA. 351 00:24:35,106 --> 00:24:37,301 Thought I'd take it. 352 00:24:37,409 --> 00:24:40,776 Well, why didn't you say anything about it while we were in Mexico? 353 00:24:40,879 --> 00:24:43,006 I didn't want you to think I was following you. 354 00:24:43,114 --> 00:24:47,141 After all, you're a... happily married woman on her honeymoon. 355 00:24:49,654 --> 00:24:53,146 You are a happily married woman, aren't you? 356 00:24:56,895 --> 00:24:58,795 Some days are happier than others. 357 00:24:58,897 --> 00:25:02,424 You never told me why that Keyes guy thought your marriage was phony. 358 00:25:02,534 --> 00:25:04,434 Doesn't matter what Keyes thought. 359 00:25:04,536 --> 00:25:07,369 - 'Cause he's dead? - Because he was wrong. 360 00:25:10,108 --> 00:25:12,133 What would you do if another Keyes came along? 361 00:25:16,047 --> 00:25:17,981 He never proved anything. 362 00:25:18,083 --> 00:25:21,644 Well, if someone could prove you weren't really married... 363 00:25:21,753 --> 00:25:23,687 I'd be the happiest man in the world. 364 00:25:26,758 --> 00:25:28,783 I did follow you here. 365 00:25:30,161 --> 00:25:32,186 Good-bye, Tony. 366 00:25:50,982 --> 00:25:52,882 - Good morning, Mildred. - Good morning. 367 00:25:52,984 --> 00:25:54,884 Hello. 368 00:25:54,986 --> 00:25:57,113 - I'm Laura Holt Steele. - Norman Metzger. 369 00:25:57,222 --> 00:25:59,281 - Where's the boss? - Sleeping in. 370 00:25:59,391 --> 00:26:03,054 Uh-huh. Excuse us. Coffee break. 371 00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:11,767 Okay, little mary sunshine. Spill. 372 00:26:13,305 --> 00:26:15,273 I don't know what you're talking about, Mildred. 373 00:26:15,373 --> 00:26:19,139 You two have been married for less than a week, and you're fooling around already? 374 00:26:19,244 --> 00:26:23,271 Oh, I have heard about modern marriages, but this one takes the cake. 375 00:26:23,381 --> 00:26:26,544 Why don't you ask Mr. Steele how his sister is doing this morning? 376 00:26:26,651 --> 00:26:30,644 - His sister is history. - Good. Then you can send in the client. 377 00:26:30,755 --> 00:26:34,191 Whoa. Speaking about lost relatives... 378 00:26:34,292 --> 00:26:36,920 just what's going on between you and the Italian Stallion? 379 00:26:38,430 --> 00:26:40,523 He's a friend. That's all. 380 00:26:40,632 --> 00:26:43,567 Oh, don't you think it's a little too friendly that he shows up on your doorstep? 381 00:26:43,668 --> 00:26:46,728 He's an archaeologist at UCLA. 382 00:26:46,838 --> 00:26:49,306 I didn't ask what he did. I asked what he's doing. 383 00:26:49,407 --> 00:26:52,137 Mildred, send in the client! 384 00:27:04,356 --> 00:27:06,449 Please sit down, Mr. Metzger. 385 00:27:07,559 --> 00:27:09,754 That will be all, Miss Krebs. 386 00:27:16,501 --> 00:27:20,733 - Shall we begin? - Shouldn't we wait for Mr. Steele? 387 00:27:20,839 --> 00:27:23,205 With the demands on his precious time... 388 00:27:23,308 --> 00:27:26,277 I'm afraid Mr. Steele's schedule is rather unpredictable. 389 00:27:26,378 --> 00:27:29,313 Now, what seems to be the problem? 390 00:27:29,414 --> 00:27:31,678 This. Boy with Flute. 391 00:27:33,618 --> 00:27:35,518 That's quite a flute. 392 00:27:35,620 --> 00:27:39,112 - You're holding it upside-down. - Oh. 393 00:27:43,928 --> 00:27:46,294 It belongs to the Levinson estate. 394 00:27:46,398 --> 00:27:49,299 I was supposed to sell it. I'm the executor. 395 00:27:49,401 --> 00:27:51,301 But I think it's been stolen. 396 00:27:51,403 --> 00:27:55,772 - But you're not sure. - The Lindstrom Gallery agreed to accept it on consignment. 397 00:27:55,874 --> 00:28:00,038 But I hadn't heard from Eric Lindstrom for a couple of weeks, so I phoned. 398 00:28:00,145 --> 00:28:05,082 He never returned any of my calls. I went down there, but the place is locked up tight. 399 00:28:05,183 --> 00:28:09,415 So, you're afraid Lindstrom may have disappeared with the painting. 400 00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:12,388 Afraid isn't the word. 401 00:28:12,490 --> 00:28:16,017 Mrs. Steele, I'm just an accountant. 402 00:28:16,127 --> 00:28:18,357 My stock in trade is client trust. 403 00:28:18,463 --> 00:28:21,557 Now, if Lindstrom absconded with that painting... 404 00:28:21,666 --> 00:28:27,366 the estate is out $21/2 million, and my reputation is ruined. 405 00:28:31,376 --> 00:28:35,005 - Then let's get cracking. - What about Mr. Steele? 406 00:28:44,422 --> 00:28:47,220 - You're sure we shouldn't wait for your hus- - Positive. 407 00:28:58,069 --> 00:28:59,969 Morning, morning, morning, morning. 408 00:29:00,071 --> 00:29:03,199 She's not in. 409 00:29:03,308 --> 00:29:05,208 Left her sleeping like a baby. 410 00:29:05,310 --> 00:29:08,768 - Liar! - Really, Mildred. No need to get nasty. 411 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:12,213 Oh, no, no. Not you, boss. It's that Tony character. 412 00:29:12,317 --> 00:29:15,309 I've been doing some checking up on that alleged gravedigger. 413 00:29:15,420 --> 00:29:19,288 - Alleged? - Oh, he's supposedly in town on UCLA's invitation. 414 00:29:19,390 --> 00:29:23,622 - But, UCLA doesn't even know he exists. - Steele? 415 00:29:25,196 --> 00:29:27,824 Speak of the snake. 416 00:29:27,932 --> 00:29:31,163 That's speak of the devil, Mildred. Always confusing her clich�s. 417 00:29:31,269 --> 00:29:33,794 Can I talk to you? In private. 418 00:29:33,905 --> 00:29:38,342 Absolutely, Anthony. Yes. Mi casa es su casa. 419 00:29:38,443 --> 00:29:40,536 Come in. Come in. 420 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:44,614 Three's a crowd, Mildred. 421 00:29:44,716 --> 00:29:47,378 That's another clich�- in this case, accurate. 422 00:29:52,957 --> 00:29:56,984 - Business must be good. - It's been a banner year for crime. 423 00:29:57,095 --> 00:30:00,155 I suppose you're wondering what I was doing at your apartment last night. 424 00:30:00,265 --> 00:30:02,995 Nonsense. I thought what you were doing was perfectly clear. 425 00:30:03,101 --> 00:30:05,035 Kissing my wife, wasn't it? 426 00:30:07,772 --> 00:30:09,740 I won't lie and say I didn't enjoy it. 427 00:30:09,841 --> 00:30:12,002 So, you're an honest man, Anthony. 428 00:30:12,110 --> 00:30:15,045 I like that in a person. So does my wife. 429 00:30:16,414 --> 00:30:18,746 You should know that I find your wife very attractive. 430 00:30:18,850 --> 00:30:20,977 Oh, I'm sure she'll be delighted to hear that. 431 00:30:21,085 --> 00:30:25,021 But I'm not the kinda guy who'd go after a married woman. 432 00:30:25,123 --> 00:30:27,887 Now it's my turn to be delighted. 433 00:30:27,992 --> 00:30:31,826 That is, unless she wasn't really married. 434 00:30:31,930 --> 00:30:35,229 - Hypothetically speaking, of course. - Of course. 435 00:30:35,333 --> 00:30:39,565 Because if a married woman wasn't really married... 436 00:30:39,671 --> 00:30:41,571 she'd be fair game, wouldn't she? 437 00:30:41,673 --> 00:30:45,109 - Hypothetically speaking, of course. - Of course. 438 00:30:47,011 --> 00:30:50,242 Then again, if this married woman was being pursued by a- 439 00:30:50,348 --> 00:30:54,182 Oh, say an archaeologist who was on the staff at-Well, pick any school. 440 00:30:54,285 --> 00:30:57,846 Say, UCLA. And she found out he was a bald-faced liar... 441 00:30:57,956 --> 00:31:00,447 she'd be fairly upset with this archaeologist, don't you think? 442 00:31:03,361 --> 00:31:05,261 Hypothetically speaking. 443 00:31:09,100 --> 00:31:11,091 A shame this isn't in hieroglyphics. 444 00:31:11,202 --> 00:31:14,103 But then, perhaps you can decipher its full meaning anyway. 445 00:31:17,408 --> 00:31:19,876 It's a good thing we're dealing in the abstract, eh, Anthony? 446 00:31:19,978 --> 00:31:22,572 - Good thing. - And if you want to keep it that way... 447 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:24,875 I suggest you find someplace else to dig in the dirt. 448 00:31:24,983 --> 00:31:29,044 I'm leaving for England in a few days. 449 00:31:30,955 --> 00:31:32,855 Give my best to Big Ben. 450 00:31:44,669 --> 00:31:47,661 Well, Anthony, it's a pity we won't be seeing you again. 451 00:31:47,772 --> 00:31:50,764 You never can tell. 452 00:31:50,875 --> 00:31:52,775 Drop everything, Mildred. 453 00:31:52,877 --> 00:31:56,711 I want to know all there is to know about that slippery wife-stealer, and I mean pronto. 454 00:31:59,284 --> 00:32:01,809 Remington Steele Investigations. 455 00:32:03,521 --> 00:32:05,853 Yes, I will give him the message. 456 00:32:05,957 --> 00:32:09,051 Speaking of slippery... 457 00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:11,958 your sister has apparently collapsed in her hotel room. 458 00:32:12,063 --> 00:32:15,294 - Shannon? - You have any other sisters I should know about? 459 00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:19,962 - Where is she? - Wilshire Marquis. That tart is trouble, boss. 460 00:32:20,071 --> 00:32:23,234 I'll handle the tart. You keep digging for skeletons. 461 00:32:38,089 --> 00:32:40,023 In 'ere. 462 00:32:49,767 --> 00:32:54,363 - Douglas, wha-what are you doing here? - I believe you wanted to see me. 463 00:32:54,472 --> 00:32:57,873 - I told you not to say anything. - I didn't know how long you'd last. 464 00:32:57,976 --> 00:33:00,570 That will be all, Doctor. 465 00:33:01,879 --> 00:33:06,646 So- 466 00:33:06,751 --> 00:33:09,276 What seems to be the problem? 467 00:33:09,387 --> 00:33:11,981 - I suppose you have a right to know. - Mm-hmm. 468 00:33:12,090 --> 00:33:14,183 - It's my heart. - Oh. 469 00:33:14,292 --> 00:33:19,161 I have some sort of a condition. A-A multisyllable word that only the doctors can pronounce. 470 00:33:19,263 --> 00:33:23,165 B- But when you boil it down, time is of the essence. 471 00:33:23,267 --> 00:33:25,895 Of course. 472 00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:28,336 - Prescription brandy? - Oh, doctor's orders. 473 00:33:28,439 --> 00:33:30,669 Uh, it stimulates the circulation. 474 00:33:30,775 --> 00:33:32,936 I bet it does. 475 00:33:36,414 --> 00:33:41,283 I'll admit, there have been other men in my life. 476 00:33:41,386 --> 00:33:45,618 Well, a few other men. Quite a few other men. 477 00:33:45,723 --> 00:33:48,055 We're not going back to Paris, are we? 478 00:33:48,159 --> 00:33:50,354 But they all paled in comparison to you. 479 00:33:50,461 --> 00:33:53,953 Which is why I-I'd hoped we could spend what little time there's left together. 480 00:33:54,065 --> 00:33:57,364 - I'm a married man. - Oh, I'll forget it if you will. 481 00:33:57,468 --> 00:33:59,800 - I'm afraid I can't. - You think it'll last? 482 00:33:59,904 --> 00:34:02,372 It has to. 483 00:34:02,473 --> 00:34:05,499 Oh, give me these next few months, and I promise you won't regret it. 484 00:34:09,013 --> 00:34:10,776 I don't think my wife would like that. 485 00:34:10,882 --> 00:34:13,908 Oh, stop being such a loyal twit! Forget Lulu. 486 00:34:14,018 --> 00:34:16,248 It's you I need! 487 00:34:16,354 --> 00:34:18,788 Desperately. 488 00:34:18,890 --> 00:34:22,257 Steady, darling. Remember the ticker? 489 00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:25,193 Oh, how- How can you let a little thing like a- a wife... 490 00:34:25,296 --> 00:34:28,390 stand in the way of a dying woman's last request? 491 00:34:28,499 --> 00:34:30,558 Oh! 492 00:34:37,041 --> 00:34:38,941 I think we should call your husband. 493 00:34:59,030 --> 00:35:01,123 - After you. - You're not bad! 494 00:35:38,769 --> 00:35:41,294 - Boy With Flute. - I knew it. 495 00:35:41,405 --> 00:35:45,034 Since the painting appears to be missing, our next step is to find Eric Lindstrom. 496 00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:48,840 No. I'll tell you what our next step is. We're going to find Remington Steele. 497 00:35:48,946 --> 00:35:52,109 That's who we're going to find. It's time to call in the big guns, little lady. 498 00:35:54,252 --> 00:35:57,710 Remington Steele Investigations. 499 00:35:57,822 --> 00:36:01,519 Oh, hello, Mr. Metzger. No, Mr. Steele's not in. 500 00:36:02,660 --> 00:36:04,560 Oh, hi, hon. 501 00:36:04,662 --> 00:36:06,562 Sounds like we've got a bad connection. 502 00:36:06,664 --> 00:36:10,430 Yes, Mildred, I think I've cleared up the problem. 503 00:36:10,535 --> 00:36:12,765 Did Mr. Steele leave a number? 504 00:36:13,838 --> 00:36:16,136 Just a minute. 505 00:36:20,645 --> 00:36:24,479 Yes. Okay. 506 00:36:24,582 --> 00:36:27,642 Thanks. 507 00:36:27,752 --> 00:36:32,883 - This really isn't necessary. - Are you going to call, or am I? 508 00:36:41,465 --> 00:36:43,695 - Hello? - Hello? 509 00:36:43,801 --> 00:36:44,927 Yes? 510 00:36:46,470 --> 00:36:49,496 Remington Steele, please. Mrs. Steele calling. 511 00:36:49,607 --> 00:36:53,668 I'm afraid he's indisposed at the moment. 512 00:36:55,246 --> 00:36:57,714 324 Laurel Vista. 513 00:36:57,815 --> 00:37:00,443 I'll tell him just as soon as he gets dressed. 514 00:37:00,551 --> 00:37:02,451 Ciao, darling. 515 00:37:10,828 --> 00:37:13,854 You never said anything about a Mrs. Steele! 516 00:37:13,965 --> 00:37:17,128 Nasty habit, listening on extensions. 517 00:37:17,235 --> 00:37:20,227 - It's the way I find out things. - Well, don't worry about her. 518 00:37:20,338 --> 00:37:23,865 I'm paid to worry. And the fella what pays me ain't gonna like it. 519 00:37:23,975 --> 00:37:27,376 So don't tell him. Because nothing's changed. 520 00:37:27,478 --> 00:37:29,878 I'm still going to be Mrs. Remington Steele. 521 00:37:29,981 --> 00:37:33,075 What about 'er? 522 00:37:34,385 --> 00:37:36,979 As good as gone. 523 00:37:47,164 --> 00:37:49,428 I wish Steele were here. 524 00:37:49,533 --> 00:37:53,230 I told you. He's in conference with a client. 525 00:37:53,337 --> 00:37:56,135 He'll catch up with us as soon as he's free. 526 00:38:08,419 --> 00:38:10,853 Hello? Eric Lindstrom here. 527 00:38:10,955 --> 00:38:16,052 So good to hear your voice. Wish I had time to chat, but I'm afraid I'm not in. 528 00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:20,221 - Do leave your name and number after the tone. Thank you. 529 00:38:20,331 --> 00:38:22,492 Hi, Mr. Lindstrom. 530 00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:24,500 This is Tina at the L.A. Tribune. 531 00:38:24,602 --> 00:38:26,593 We haven't received your subscription payment yet. 532 00:38:26,704 --> 00:38:28,968 Could you please mail it right away? Thanks. 533 00:38:33,811 --> 00:38:37,713 Hmm. Timers. The lights come on automatically. 534 00:38:37,815 --> 00:38:40,079 If Lindstrom isn't here, then where is he? 535 00:38:47,958 --> 00:38:50,518 Next time, I'm waiting for Steele! 536 00:39:28,966 --> 00:39:31,730 Conducting the investigation with your usual decorum, eh, Laura? 537 00:39:31,836 --> 00:39:33,599 I thought you were someone else. 538 00:39:33,704 --> 00:39:35,934 Mr. Steele, am I glad to see you. 539 00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:37,940 I'm afraid I got held up in traffic. 540 00:39:38,042 --> 00:39:40,602 I'll bet it was bumper to bumper. 541 00:39:40,711 --> 00:39:44,704 Yes. Especially near the beach. 542 00:39:44,815 --> 00:39:47,545 But since the two of you have plunged ahead, why don't you fill me in? 543 00:39:47,651 --> 00:39:52,384 While you were out blowing your horn, someone was using us for target practice. 544 00:39:52,490 --> 00:39:55,084 I'm just an accountant. I've never been shot at before. 545 00:39:55,192 --> 00:39:57,820 Okay, Mr. Metzger. Calm down. Don't panic. 546 00:39:57,928 --> 00:40:00,795 At least we know we're hot on Lindstrom's trail. 547 00:40:00,898 --> 00:40:04,231 Oh, listen, lady. You may be a good little detective... 548 00:40:04,335 --> 00:40:06,701 but from now on, the head honcho calls the shots! 549 00:40:09,273 --> 00:40:11,673 So, what's the plan, Steele? 550 00:40:15,346 --> 00:40:17,906 Uh, the plan, yes. 551 00:40:18,015 --> 00:40:22,975 Uh, the plan is that we continue to proceed according to the usual detective procedure. 552 00:40:24,321 --> 00:40:26,846 Keep me posted. 553 00:40:26,957 --> 00:40:29,118 Where are you going? 554 00:40:29,226 --> 00:40:32,024 A pressing matter has arisen that demands my immediate attention. 555 00:40:32,129 --> 00:40:34,029 Mr. Steele, you just got here. 556 00:40:34,131 --> 00:40:37,032 Mr. Metzger, I'm sure my associate here has explained to you... 557 00:40:37,134 --> 00:40:39,500 that I function best in an advisory capacity. 558 00:40:39,603 --> 00:40:45,303 I assure you, sir, that I shall keep my eye on your case every step of the way. 559 00:40:45,409 --> 00:40:47,343 - You have my word. - Thank you. 560 00:40:48,779 --> 00:40:50,679 Carry on, Mrs. Steele. 561 00:40:52,650 --> 00:40:55,642 Well. 562 00:40:55,753 --> 00:40:57,653 Was he worth waiting for? 563 00:41:03,260 --> 00:41:06,491 - Out rather late for a woman in your delicate condition. 564 00:41:06,597 --> 00:41:09,498 - Oh, careful, darling. You're hurting me! - Where have you been? 565 00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:12,763 Out for a late night stroll. It does wonders for the heart. 566 00:41:12,870 --> 00:41:16,931 And does your constitutional involve taking potshots at Laura? 567 00:41:17,041 --> 00:41:22,502 - What are you babbling about? - The only other person with a motive left town two days ago. 568 00:41:22,613 --> 00:41:26,777 Come on, darling. I've much more effective means of eliminating your blushing bride. 569 00:41:28,452 --> 00:41:30,818 Do you really care for me as much as you say you do? 570 00:41:30,921 --> 00:41:33,515 - Oh, darling. - Huh? 571 00:41:33,624 --> 00:41:35,683 Let me count the ways. Oh! 572 00:41:35,793 --> 00:41:38,227 If anything happens to Laura before I become a legal resident... 573 00:41:38,329 --> 00:41:42,925 - I am gonna be kicked out on my ear. - You always did enjoy traveling. 574 00:41:43,033 --> 00:41:46,867 - I'm also lookin' at five years in prison! - I don't understand. 575 00:41:55,746 --> 00:41:58,340 Immigration found out about my phony passport. 576 00:41:58,449 --> 00:42:01,885 The only way to avoid being deported was to marry an American citizen. 577 00:42:01,986 --> 00:42:03,920 Little Lulu to the rescue. 578 00:42:04,021 --> 00:42:05,921 Only we didn't have time for a proper marriage... 579 00:42:06,023 --> 00:42:09,857 so I... manufactured the appropriate documents. 580 00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:11,257 You're not legally married! 581 00:42:11,362 --> 00:42:13,990 And there's a bunch of bureaucrats eager to prove it. 582 00:42:14,098 --> 00:42:18,364 If they succeed, I am gonna spend the next five years of my life in the pokey! 583 00:42:18,469 --> 00:42:20,664 Now, do you understand? 584 00:42:20,771 --> 00:42:23,968 - Oh, perfectly. - Then stay away from Laura. 585 00:42:24,074 --> 00:42:27,100 Oh, I wouldn't do anything to hurt you. 586 00:42:27,211 --> 00:42:31,238 Remington Steele's marriage is a complete and total fraud. 587 00:42:33,751 --> 00:42:36,242 Care to elaborate, Miss Wayne? 588 00:42:36,353 --> 00:42:38,253 What more is there to say? 589 00:42:38,355 --> 00:42:41,847 He told me that it was merely a ploy to keep him from being deported. 590 00:42:41,959 --> 00:42:43,824 - I knew it.! - Why did he confide in you? 591 00:42:43,928 --> 00:42:46,328 We were- 592 00:42:46,430 --> 00:42:48,330 How shall I put this? 593 00:42:48,432 --> 00:42:53,563 We were in the throes of ecstasy when it just slipped out. 594 00:42:53,671 --> 00:42:56,333 Nice image. 595 00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:58,567 So what do you get out of blowing the whistle on him? 596 00:43:00,611 --> 00:43:03,478 Our children deserve a name, Mr. Roselli. 597 00:43:04,915 --> 00:43:06,815 You and Steele have children? 598 00:43:08,218 --> 00:43:11,654 Derek, a darling little towhead and- and Pettina- 599 00:43:11,755 --> 00:43:14,485 A sad-eyed beauty. 600 00:43:14,592 --> 00:43:16,492 She- She misses her father so much. 601 00:43:16,594 --> 00:43:19,427 Yeah, well, she'll be missing him another five years at least. 602 00:43:19,530 --> 00:43:21,521 We're gonna need your statement in writing. 603 00:43:21,632 --> 00:43:24,362 W- Whatever does she mean, another five years? 604 00:43:24,468 --> 00:43:27,028 - Mandatory prison term. - Oh, no. 605 00:43:27,137 --> 00:43:30,038 Oh, no, no, no, no. L- I could never do that. What would I tell the wee ones? 606 00:43:31,709 --> 00:43:37,147 Unless you could waive that minor little detail and simply deport him. 607 00:43:37,247 --> 00:43:39,147 Hmm? 608 00:43:40,184 --> 00:43:42,049 - Could be arranged. - In writing? 609 00:43:42,152 --> 00:43:44,780 Mr. Roselli, need I remind you... 610 00:43:44,888 --> 00:43:48,517 that Chapter 38, Paragraph 17 of the Immigration and Naturalization Code... 611 00:43:48,626 --> 00:43:51,891 - clearly states that- - Gladys, take a walk. 612 00:43:51,996 --> 00:43:53,896 Lower your blood pressure. 613 00:43:57,101 --> 00:43:59,695 Where do I sign, hmm? 614 00:44:51,755 --> 00:44:54,280 - Is Laura in? - Ooh, hold it, boss. We gotta huddle. 615 00:44:54,391 --> 00:44:57,827 Quickly, Mildred. I've just come up with a new development on the Metzger matter. 616 00:44:57,928 --> 00:45:00,362 Okay, you remember the time you told me to check on Tony the tiger? 617 00:45:00,464 --> 00:45:03,763 - Yeah. - Nada. Goose egg. 618 00:45:05,936 --> 00:45:09,599 Don't you get it? He's not an archaeologist. 619 00:45:09,707 --> 00:45:11,800 There's no record that he was ever in Mexico. 620 00:45:11,909 --> 00:45:14,503 In fact, there's no record that he exists at all. 621 00:45:14,611 --> 00:45:18,012 You think the little woman made him up too? 622 00:45:18,115 --> 00:45:21,209 Highly unlikely. However let's not burden her with this information, okay? 623 00:45:21,318 --> 00:45:22,808 Okay. 624 00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:26,014 - Mildred, book Mr. Steele and me on the first flight to London. - London? 625 00:45:26,123 --> 00:45:30,082 A friend of Mr. Metzger's ran into Lindstrom at the Thames Gardens Hotel. 626 00:45:30,194 --> 00:45:33,630 Yes, he had the nerve to invite him up to the Presidential Suite for tea. 627 00:45:33,731 --> 00:45:36,461 - Oh. - Who says crime doesn't pay? 628 00:45:36,567 --> 00:45:40,401 I confirmed it with the airline. Lindstrom landed two days ago. 629 00:45:40,504 --> 00:45:43,371 That's what I love about you. You're always one step ahead of the game. 630 00:45:43,474 --> 00:45:46,534 - Piccadilly Circus, here we come. - We? 631 00:45:46,643 --> 00:45:49,976 Aw, come on. I was a big help in Mexico. 632 00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:52,605 And you'll be an even bigger help right here. 633 00:45:52,716 --> 00:45:54,616 Wait, wait. Wait a minute. 634 00:45:54,718 --> 00:45:57,653 If Lindstrom's flown the coop, then who shot at you two last night? 635 00:45:57,755 --> 00:46:00,986 We're detectives, Mildred. Everybody shoots at us. You know that. 636 00:46:01,091 --> 00:46:04,254 - Obviously, Lindstrom has an accomplice. - Of course. Who else could it be? 637 00:46:04,361 --> 00:46:06,659 Time to start packing, don't you think? Tallyho and all that. 638 00:46:06,764 --> 00:46:09,790 Get the galoshes out. Huh? Yeah. 639 00:46:38,996 --> 00:46:40,896 How'd it go? 640 00:46:40,998 --> 00:46:42,898 - She's out like a light. - Who is she? 641 00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:45,867 - A loose end. - Aw, come on, Tony. Give us a clue. 642 00:46:45,969 --> 00:46:48,836 You went outside channels on this one, and we can all get burned. 643 00:46:48,939 --> 00:46:51,567 I got something heavy going down. She got in the way. 644 00:46:51,675 --> 00:46:53,336 What do you want us to do with her? 645 00:46:53,443 --> 00:46:55,707 Put her on a plane to Singapore. 646 00:46:55,813 --> 00:46:58,646 There won't be any questions with this. 647 00:46:58,749 --> 00:47:01,047 Diplomatic passport. 648 00:47:01,151 --> 00:47:03,210 From the look of her, she's got a healthy pair of lungs. 649 00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:06,847 Shame about the accident. Had to bandage the whole face. 650 00:47:06,957 --> 00:47:09,255 That oughta keep her quiet. 651 00:47:09,359 --> 00:47:14,524 I pull this off, I'm back in business. I won't forget you guys. 652 00:47:26,510 --> 00:47:29,604 Oh, please don't hurt me. I have a weak heart. 653 00:47:29,713 --> 00:47:32,273 Will you relax, lady? Nobody's gonna hurt you. 654 00:47:32,382 --> 00:47:35,909 My pills. L- I need my pills. They're in my purse. 655 00:47:37,154 --> 00:47:39,054 All right. 656 00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:06,174 Yeah. It worked. Steele's on his way to London. 657 00:48:06,224 --> 00:48:10,774 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0